The end of a marriage can be incredibly challenging on many levels, including emotionally, mentally, and financially. While every marriage is different, and circumstances will dictate your actions in many instances, here are some tips from marriage and family therapy (MFT) professionals that can help you get through this difficult time.
1. Talk to a therapist.
Therapists are trained to help you in a way that no other individual can. They are not only impartial third parties, they are also dedicated to your mental health. When you seek therapy, you can depend on the therapist to apply clinically proven methods to help you overcome anxiety, depression, and any other issues that arise.
2. Understand that your divorce does not define you.
Your divorce may require a great deal of your attention, however, it does not define who you are. It is only one event in your life among many, no matter how overwhelming it may feel right now. In time, it will fade and you will still be you, with all your good qualities and personal challenges.
3. Establish your support system.
Your husband or wife was obviously a very big part of your life, but there are other relationships that existed before and during your marriage that will still be there long after the marriage is over. You have friends and family who care about you and want what is best for you, and these people will gladly come to your aid in difficult times. Determine who you want as your support system and reach out to them. While it may be hard to tell them about the divorce, you will often be surprised at how supportive they can be in this trying time.
4. Keep all the great things in your life at the top of your mind.
Significant negative events like divorce tend to draw our attention and keep it there. The more you focus on the divorce, the more it can paint your life in negativity that is not necessarily accurate. If you pause and think about it, you know there are at least a few great things in your life regardless of the divorce. Whether it’s your children, your pet, or your favorite hobby, focus your attention on the things that make you happy. They will help you get through the divorce in ways nothing else can.
5. Remember why it didn’t work out.
Surviving divorce requires maintaining a balance—you want to keep good things at the front of your mind, but you don’t want to idealize the relationship that is ending. There are very good reasons for the end of the marriage. Keep these in mind as well, to avoid falling back into relationships that you are better off without.