Open Search
Open Navigation

Congratulations to CSPP Alumna, Dr. Shannon Kolakowski, who has released a new book: When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When You're Depressed.


About Dr. Shannon Kolakowski

Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Seattle, WA. Featured in publications like Redbook, ParentMap, Men’s Health Magazine, Shape and eHarmony, Dr. Kolakowski also maintains a relationship blog on the Huffington Post.

Passionate abouth helping people create the best relationships they can, Dr. Kolakowski seamlessly integrates the latest clinical research with her own personal experience and insight to help clients and readers be their best selves-- both within and outside of reltionships. Because Dr. Kolakowski specializes in the treatment of depression and anxiety disorders as well as relationships, she brings an added depth to her understanding of how you can improve all aspects of your life.

Her forthcoming When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect

with Your Partner When You’re Depressed.
tackles a hidden issue that could be affecting your relationship with yourself-- and your partner. “With depression, you may become critical of your partner, or doubt your relationship altogether. You may lose interest in intimacy, feel empty, and feel hopeless about the future”, according to Dr. Kolakowski. Fortunately, Dr. Kolakowski lays out manageable steps to prevent your depression from sabotaging your relationship.


About the Book

When you are feeling depressed, having a loving, supportive relationship with your partner can help you in your path towards healing and creating a happier life. But often depression interferes with your relationship, distancing you from your partner during your time of need.

If you are in the midst of a depression, you may worry that you aren’t good enough for your partner, or become irritable around them. You may even push them away when you feel like your emotions are beyond your control. In addition, your sense of intimacy may diminish, and your sex life may fizzle as a result of fatigue, medications and feeling disconnected from your partner. The hard truth is that feelings of isolation, worthlessness, and tiredness can all take a hefty toll on your love life. But you don’t have to let depression be the demise of your relationship.

Using an integrative approach based in mindfulness, interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), When Depression Hurts Your Relationship offers practical skills to help readers with depression reignite intimacy with their partners.

If you suffer from depression , this book is a must-read to help keep your romantic relationship healthy, exciting, and rewarding for you both.



“When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is an outstanding book, packed with easy-to-read information and strategies that will help couples navigate the stormy waters of depression. Shannon Kolakowski comprehensively tackles how depression negatively roots itself in the bonds of a partnership and offers solutions that are gentle, frank, and straightforward. One of the most wonderful things about Kolakowski’s writing is that she delicately weaves science and research in such a way that it doesn’t overwhelm the reader. Instead, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship empowers, informs, and inspires with hope and encouragement.

—Deborah Serani, PsyD, psychologist and award-winning author of Living with Depression

“Kolakowski has written a wonderfully practical book to help people dealing with depression and struggling to preserve their relationships. She integrates her psychology expertise in very simple and easy-to-follow ways. From attachment

to coping styles, Kolakowski addresses the psychological aspects of depression that contribute to hurting a relationship, and offers practical and easy exercises to break away from harmful patterns. The book is a great resource—not only for people dealing with depression in their relationship, but also for any couple wanting to improve their communication style, add mindfulness in the relationship, and gain sexual intimacy. As a professor and psychologist working with couples, I intend to recommend this book to my psychology students and couples as an easy read and addendum to clinical work.”

—Dinelia Rosa, PhD, president-elect of the New York State Psychological Association, director of the Dean Hope Center for Educational & Psychological Services at Columbia University, and adjunct associate professor at the clinical psychology program at Teachers College, Columbia University

“Depression is one of the greatest obstacles in relating to others or yourself. When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is a wonderful remedy for making sure that this doesn’t happen to you or your relationship. It is the right book at the right time, and will help millions of people prevent depression from getting in the way of living happily ever after.” —Mark Goulston, MD, author of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

“If you are depressed, new hope and a new life awaits, thanks to the book When Depression Hurts Your Relationship. In it, you’ll find a clear, compassionate, and comprehensive guide, filled with hands-on activities and exercises to steer you through the morass of depression and stagnation that’s separating you from your partner. Thanks to Kolakowski’s invaluable resource, you can rebuild your connection with your partner to be stronger than ever, and find comfort in each other’s arms once again.”

—Sheri Meyers, PsyD, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Chatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love and Affair-Proof Your Relationship

“In this new book, Shannon Kolakowski shows a deep and compassionate understanding of the ways in which depression shows up in our most cherished relationships. Based on research and Kolakowski’s own clinical experience, this book is accessible to real people with real relationship goals. Packed with reflective exercises and concrete tools, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship will empower you (and your partner) to create a healthy and loving bond.” —Heidi Reeder, PhD, author of Commit to Win and associate professor of communication at Boise State University

You might also like

Back to Blog
Learn More
woman talking to group

CSWE Accreditation & Standards at Alliant International University

In 2022, Alliant International University launched the online master of social work (MSW) program for the California School of...
Learn More
Sohee Jun

Lifting Up the Next Generation of Female Leaders

“I'm of most value and in service when I use my superpowers of understanding the challenges that women face in the workplace.” Dr...

Learn More
couple in therapy

What to Do When a Client Shuts Down in Therapy

If dialogue is the bedrock of quality therapy, what can a therapist do when their client turns reticent or even silent in a...

Request Information

  • 1
    Current Select Interests
  • 2
    Provide Information